Brandi Tillison
Slut Shaming: Controlling Female
Sexuality
Slut shaming. The act of making a girl feel
embarrassed for her sexuality, regardless of
whether she sleeps around or not.[1] I
feel confident in saying that people have experienced slut shaming at least
once. For instance I was homeschooled my whole life up to college. Some think
that that means I haven’t experienced bullying, but it came from an unlikely
place for me. I was slut shamed by my sister for years. I think that the term
alone holds too much power. Its terms like ‘slut shaming’ that makes one
question just how free they are with their sexuality. Just how free are we?
Shouldn’t what we do in our private lives stay private unless we choose to tell
someone otherwise?
In most cases that I have seen slut
shaming happening would be over the internet. I have also seen that it often
refers to women only. As if saying it is impossible to be a slut if you are a
man. The term ‘slut’ alone is used to devalue women. Saying if you choose to
have multiple sex partners that you have no value anymore. Sometimes people may
not know you at all and call you a slut. That fact alone proves that calling
people whores is just a way to put them down. For instance like I stated
before, my sister called me a whore when I was 13 years old. I always wondered
how that worked seeing as I had never even touched a male.
I fear that the impact the media and
social networks have on society also propel such shaming. For example Rhianna.
The media always labels her as a slut or tramp that will sleep with anything
walking, but do they know Rhianna personally? Or do they just call her a slut
because of her song lyrics? In one of her songs ‘S&M’ her lyrics read, “Cause
I may be bad but I’m perfectly good at it, Sex in the air, I don’t care, I love
the smell of it, sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips
excite me.”[2]
Another very popular example is Miley Cyrus. I don’t think I can count the
number of times she has been called a whore. But no one stopped to examine if
she was so wild, then how was she with the same man for 5 years and was eventually
engaged to him?
I think that overall calling females
whores for simply expressing their sexuality proves we live in a patriarchal
society. I don’t think it is to anyone’s concern to whom I choose to sleep with
or the number of people I choose to have intercourse with. It isn’t equal in
any kind of way to shame a girl for her sexuality just for the simple fact of
you controlling her. Maybe one day we will be able to let people freely express
their sexuality without oppressing them and shaming them for it.
[1] Kaitlin,
Menza. Huffington Post, "Teen Girls Take A Stand Against Slut Shaming:
What It Is And Why You Should Care." Last modified October 30, 2013.
Accessed January 31, 2014.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/30/slut-shaming-teen-girls_n_4178812.html.
[2] NA,
NA. Metro Lyrics, "Rhianna Lyrics." Accessed January 31, 2014.
http://www.metrolyrics.com/sm-lyrics-rihanna.html.
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